Royal Family: Kate Middleton and the Queen’s relationship analysed


Kate Middleton has been described as “the most important, pivotal royal when it comes to restoring a sense of equilibrium and wholesale popularity to the Firm after all the dramas, scandals and rifts”, by body language expert Judi James. The Duchess of Cambridge, with her youth and charisma, helps to modernise the Royal Family. But what is her relationship with the head of the Firm like?

Judi James said: “Like every other aspect of her time in the royal Firm, Kate appears to have grown her clearly strong relationship with the Queen by stealth and proof, earning the current levels of trust and affection by showing she was a ‘keeper’, rather than pushing the emotional bonds.

“She has always, and still does, show a reverence for her grandmother-in-law in public and that blend of growing personal confidence but ongoing respect, understanding and awareness of the status of William’s grandmother forms a perfect fit for the Queen’s stoic behaviour traits.

“Now in her nineties it is clear the Queen dislikes fuss, sympathy or being treated as either elderly or weak. Kate seems to ‘get’ this intrinsically and is her very deft at displays of friendship and affection – but also showing who is ultimately the boss – that seems to work so ideally.”

The body language expert added: “These behaviours don’t just flatter the Queen, they also define the way that Kate will be more than capable of stepping up into this leadership and high status role when it is her turn to be crowned.

“Her traits of firmness will be as important for the Queen to witness as her ability to show deference currently.”

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The body language expert claimed that Sophie, Countess of Wessex, might be the closest to the Queen in terms of friendship, but “Kate has very quietly established her own, polite but loving-looking friendship with the Queen”.

Judi went on to say that “Kate often uses a rather tight hand clasp when she is with the Queen, despite her facial expressions of fun and happiness”.

She said: “This gesture suggests, like most of Kate’s body language rituals in public, that she is the ultimate ‘swan moving through the water’ – she appears calm and serene above the surface but only thanks to a lot of thought, planning, and ongoing work underneath.

“The tight hand clasp suggests she is still in awe of the Queen, although not over-awed, which is the perfect balance for her role as future Queen.”

When Prince William accompanies Kate and the Queen, he is seen giving “approval signals” to his wife, according to Judi.

He glances at Kate and his grandmother with “pride and respect”, the body language expert said.

When the Duchess of Cambridge and Her Majesty are together, the Queen “tends to sit comfortably, which suggests she trusts Kate to do the right thing and attract the right levels of respect and PR for the Firm”, Judi claimed.

She continued: “William’s puckered smile which we can still see these days, is very much the face of a man relaxed in the knowledge that his wife has his grandmother’s full approval.

“That approval will in turn include him for making such a perfect choice of royal wife.”

Judi claimed that the Queen “is very good at performing a poker face, but when she is with Kate we do tend to see very authentic and congruent signals of fun”.

“Kate has a trait of producing flattering but genuine-looking laughter that brings out the ‘performer’ in both her father and her grandmother-in-law,” the body language expert said.

She added: “Recently we have been seeing an increase in the subtly intimate moments between Kate and the Queen.

“The height difference is huge but Kate seems to have managed a way of using eye contact and face-checking the Queen, often at more emotional moments, to offer what looks like quiet, friendship-based support that doesn’t look patronising or status-compromising.”



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